Love Letter No. 3

Fill Yourself with the Real Deal Kind of Love

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Please enjoy the above audio reading of this letter recorded by yours truly.

June 7, 2025

Marcie Alvis Walker
Book-Ladened Desk Avenue
You Should Be Here, Illinois
606-X0X0

Dear Co-Witnesses to the Catastrophe of It All,

Well, loves, we knew it was coming. A lovers’ quarrel was bound to happen between them. If Bianca and Mick, Burt and Sally, Jen and Brad, Diane and Warren, James and Carly, Gywneth and Chris, Bragelina, Will and Jada, Reese and Ryan, Ethan and Uma, Madonna and Sean, Kim and Kanye, Bennifer and Bennifer 2.0 couldn’t make it, then what hope did we have that they would? There can only be one Megamind in the relationship. The sky can only hold one sun. And, well, there can only be one president.

Breakups aren’t so uncommon. The list is as absolutely as endless as love itself. And who can tell what was really love and what was all an act for our starkly feasting eyes? All I can say is – as someone who’s not been their best when brokenhearted, I sure am glad I was a great big ole nobody when I exacted revenge on my ex-lovers. I sure am glad there were no peeping, snapping cameras to capture the night I snatched my “friend” and “sister-in-Christ” out of the bed my ex-husband and I shared and slapped the holy shit out of her and screamed, “Where’s your Jesus now, bitch?!” I mean, I’m not at all ashamed of that moment, but I’m glad the moment wasn’t a featured punchline in Seth Meyer’s A Closer Look the very next day.

So it’s over, they say. The lovers are airing their dirtiest secrets, literally trying to skin each other alive in press briefs and social media posts. But love is a funny thing. The more toxic it flows the more likely it’ll flow right back again. So let’s not concern ourselves too much with their love woes. Next week they could be happily back together again. Who else could love either as well as they each love themselves in the orbit of each other? After all, the thing a narcissist can’t resist is a one-way mirror. Unfortunately, these two lovesick lovebirds are trapped in a two-way mirror and can’t see their way out. Wait for it, dear goodfellows. It’ll get worse before it gets better.

And so what of us, co-witnesses?