Black Eyed Stories Is Now Marcie May
Also Known As: This Post Will Answer All Your Questions in Under 7 Minutes
Please enjoy this audio reading of this essay recorded for you by yours truly.
Welp… here we are. April 30th marked the first 100 days of Trump’s second presidency and… welp, here we are. What more do you want me to say? Here. We. Are.
Shocked
Dismayed
Disillusioned
Perplexed
Confused
Overwhelmed
Out of Control
Stressed
Tired
Helpless
Scared
Fearful
Bad
Anxious
Insecure
Worried
Threatened
Nervous
Deep breath…
Betrayed
Resentful
Disrespected
Let Down
Humiliated
Mad
Bitter
Frustrated
Angry
Indignant
Violated
Furious
Infuriated
Annoyed
Numb
Sigh…
Embarrassed
Appalled
Nauseated
Horrified
Awful
Disgusted
Sad
Hurt
Empty
Vulnerable
Abandoned
Victimized
Ashamed
Powerless
Like Michael Jackson’s Black Or White video, the face of America has morphed through approximately seven-eighths of The Feelings Wheel.
It’s been 100 days and welp… here we are. Are we still standing? I don’t know. I can’t feel my legs. I’m just going through the motions.
Plus, just like you, my days are still counting on me to live them. For me, it’s been mostly hard days. I hope to God, you can’t relate. But it’s been a proper shit-show over in my garden. Thanks to an herniated disc, my husband has spent the last month lying on his back in the living room. He’s on the mend but my goodness… I had to buy him a bedpan. A bedpan - y’all! My six-foot Hobbit Viking needed a bedpan and could only sip his tea through a straw. Thank goodness for drugs!!! And thank goodness for Dr. McDreamy (the young and frankly hot orthopedic was quite the looker with dreamy eyes – and yes, I’d love for him to date our Max) Dr. McDreamy graciously prescribed great drugs and some light physical therapy.
Meanwhile…
My landlord gave us the sad news that they will be returning to Chicago in August and thus, we have to give back this charming home we’ve fallen head over heels in love with. She belongs to them. We were just a rebound. We knew they were always going to get back together. We’re gutted but of course, we’re happy for them.
And, meanwhile…
The kid got their first job out of college as a barista and… well… it’s been great but not great and to respect their privacy, that’s all I can say about it. I can tell you that because Max doesn’t drive (anxiety, PSTD, bi-polar disorder and autism has its challenges when it comes to operating a vehicle) I have been their Uber driver for their 5:30am shifts. Yep. 5:30 y’all.
And, meanwhile…
I got jury duty.
Yep.
And did I mention our dog is blind and senile?
So, I don’t have a lot to offer y’all and I’m so sorry about that because I miss y’all. I miss writing and wading through the muck of things with all of you. But here’s the thing…
When I’m walking the dog, or driving home as the sun rises over the city skyline after dropping Max off for their shift, or when I finally fall onto my makeshift bed (I’ve been sleeping on the sofa so I can be closer to Simon, in case he needs me) in my head, I’m writing love letters to you:
Dear beautiful wondrous human, how’s your heart? I hope you are well. When’s the last time you watched the sun rise? When’s the last time you’ve driven right into it? Despite everything, isn’t it marvelous how beauty never abandons us?
So with all these thoughts, I realized I needed a change and maybe you do too. I want to write you more love letters. I hope that’s not too forward. And because this is such a new change for me, I thought I should change the name of this newsletter because for most of these terrible, divisive years I’ve been everything but myself with you. I’ve been Black Coffee with White Friends… Mockingbird History… Black Eyed Bible Stories… Black Eyed Stories…. What if I could just be me? Marcie.
My mother used to call me Marcie May and I loved it. So how about I be that girl from now on Marcie May, writer of love letters to those of us who believe that love could save us, those of us who believe that despite these atrocious first 100 days and herniated discs and adult children with special needs and blind and senile dogs and unwanted moves and jury duty… there is enough love to pull us through. We can catch the sunrise. We can even drive right through it. Everyday we can begin again because despite all these feelings we’re having in this country, there’s one-eighth of The Feelings Wheel that we can choose to tap into:
Happy
Content
Interested
Peaceful
Optimistic
Free
Joyful
Curious
Inquisitive
Confident
Courageous
Creative
Thankful
Hopeful
Inspired
And my favorite of all these… loving. We can be more loving and I would like to love you better.
Welcome to Marcie May…
Hi and welcome back to all of us again, Marcie May! You might never know how much your words have meant to people you are most likely never going to meet. But....they mean so much and I can't say enough how much I appreciate your gift. I hope you will continue to take care of yourself and your family and hold onto them tightly in these most difficult times. I am a lady who has been through my share of ups and downs over the past 72 years, but in these current times, I carry a lot of fear and dread for what is to come. My prayer is that I will outlive all the hatefulness, meanness, and sheer stupidity that we seem to be surrounded by. I intend to purposely seek joy and not let life be sucked out of me by cruel and heartless humans who have no idea of what genuine Christianity entails. I'll continue to care, love, and support those who fight for a just future, a safe space to exist, and a place where all can thrive. Thank you again for your inspiring (and sometimes humorous) words!
Ayyyyy Marcie May YEEEEAAAAHHH!!!! I LOVE IT!!! LET'S GO!!!!! Love letters like arrows knocking down walls!!!